I read an amazing post by Kitty at BitchesGetRiches last night. She walked through her reasoning behind buying $25 wedding rings. She compared them to the $1,900 rings she and her partner really wanted and explained why they decided on the $25 rings.
They decided on the $25 rings because she and her partner had, years earlier, talked about their dreams. She wanted the pony her parents never got her and she wanted to live in a house with secret passages.
Buying $1,900 rings didn’t help her get the pony. . . or the house.
She gives us permission to get the fancy rings if “you’ve dreamed your whole life of having a great big diamond on your finger”. That wasn’t her dream or her path so she didn’t do it.
Before I read Kitty’s post, I was trying to come up with a way to use this amazing picture of a slot canyon I hiked last weekend. I wanted to talk about how we each have to decide what is important to us and spend our limited resources–our time and money–to pursue our own path.
But she expressed it better than I could.
If you want the pony, then do everything you need to do to get the pony.
If you want the rings, then do everything you need to do to get the rings. But please, please, please don’t settle on the partner portion of this scenario–you can buy your own damn rings.
If you want to get out of debt, then do everything you need to do to get out of debt.
If you want some flexibility or freedom, then do everything you need to do save some money.
But don’t jump on someone else’s path, figure out what matters to you and stay on your own path.
Do you know what your pony/hidden passage house is? Figure out your path to get you there.
If you don’t know what your pony/hidden passage house is, read this and take an hour to do J.D. Roth’s exercise to figure it out.
Sometimes other people’s paths look like more fun–whether it’s fancy rings, huge ass houses or amazing trips.
But here’s the thing. You don’t know their whole story. You only know your own whole story. Don’t compare your real story to their Facebook/Instagram/Twitter story.
Figure out your path and stay on it. Your path is the only path that is right for you.
I’d hate to get to the end of this one beautiful life and realize I’d been walking on the wrong path . . . for me.